I am so ashamed. Normally, junk food is not a legitimate food group, but today it supplied overt 30% of my calories in a 30 minute display of desperation.
From 8AM to 2PM, the screen of my Macbook computer assaulted my eyes with numbers, charts, graphs, pictures, data and blue light. It was relentless. The problems my coworkers and I had been trying to resolve were a lot tougher than most problems we’d faced before. It took three of us to conclude that we had no idea how to solve it.
To make matters worse, the weather outside was getting stormy. I actually like stormy weather, but what made the matters worse was the wind: it blew open my louvered window. At this point, most people would just shut and latch the window, but not me. There is nothing to keep that window latched shut and, because it is louvered, the only way to shut it is from outside. The mini blinds rattled and crashed against the window trim until I could take it no more. At that point I was emotionally and mentally bankrupt. My shit inventory was so low I had none to give.
Sometimes the best way to solve this emotional state is to go for a walk and that’s exactly what I did. I walked to the corner store to get a snack. I’m sure you’ve heard of a food desert. This store is a food void: a food black hole. The shelves are stocked full of highly processed, chemically enhanced, neatly packaged “treats” that most civilized humans would recognize as “bad for you.”
I grabbed a package of Kellogg’s Pop-Tarts (2 pastries, 400Cal), a jumbo all-natural Angus beef stick (130Cal), and Little Debbie creme filled cupcakes (10000000Cal), but that’s not all. A meal like that needs to be washed down with a 20oz Vanilla Coca Cola (250Cal). And all that was under $7.00… what a deal!
The woman behind the counter nicely bagged my goodies without judgement. Had I been the store clerk, I would have been muttering under my breath and passing all kinds of judgement on anyone who would buy all that crap that some people call food. I was certainly judging myself quite harshly for it.
The cupcakes were the first to be devoured. They were down the hatch before I even got back to the office. Next was the beef stick, then the toaster pastries and lastly, the Coke.
That was seven hours ago. I’m still feeling ill. Why do I do that kind of thing? I know better. Maybe it’s because I gave up donuts and pancakes so now my body is pissed off and does this to get back at me. I hate to think of what kind of workout I’m going to have in the morning if this is my fuel.
Until tomorrow…